think

seriously, failing process economics got me thinking....

is it due to my playfulness or is it because i really have no talent in it?

im not perfect.

i know that is my weakness but i didnt put more effort into it. in fact, knowing that i suck at it, i avoided it.

20% gone down the freaking drain. im so fucked.

stress

the problem with being good is that there is pressure for you to live up to the expectations of others.

there is always a price to pay.

do you?

do you believe that god really has a plan for everyone?

people who know me know that i don believe a shit what christians have to say.

neither do i believe in the god crap.

but recently im beginning to see a pattern in my life.

a pattern that was always there but i failed to see.

god has always been giving me the same test in different phases of my life and i always failed it.

now its happening again.

this time i am prepared to take the test and pass it.

maybe god really has a plan for me.

stand up please

this is definitely the lowest point in these 2 years.

get back on track.

be better.

create a breakthrough.

achieve excellence.

mind starts to clear

really wonder why did i make such mistakes despite what i know.

i guess i am just too stubborn and naive.

I now finally understands the difference between theory and practice.

theory without practice is not learning at all.

ready

im ready for the next upgrade.

in 1 week i will be new again.

newer, better.

the year so far

in my mind, i had two targets to meet this year.

so far, i haven meet any.

in fact, i've just screwed both up.

looks like i got to turbo charge my engine so that i can accomplish these goals by the end of december.

this is so interesting and exciting.

happened again

Seems like every semester, there will be one exam paper that i will screw up. Its not that I don't know how to do the questions. I have a habit of wanting to solve problems that I cannot solve. Its like a compulsive disorder. This made me very vulnerable in exam situations where you got to move on if you got stuck.

I am always aware of this problem but this time, after today's exam, I had enough.

Gonna kick this son of a bitch habit. NOW.

lazy = death

shit.

i should have done my tuts before going for test 2 last month. the questions are farking exactly the same. i wouldnt get such shit marks if i had done my tuts. now that i've done the tuts, im gonna own the exams tomorrow.

bring it on!

HOLY

SHIT.

i freaking swear that i dreamt about england vs usa 1:1 draw yesterday night.

i hope i get more of these dreams before the match starts....ahahaha.

same...

same dream...again...

tch316

i keep having this dream for the past 2 days. the things that happen in this dream are not anything out of the ordinary. its just a dream about something normal. but the difference between this dream and other dreams is that it is so compelling and so real i can feel it happening whenever i think about it when i am awake.

will the dream come true?

lost it

seriously...i must learn to control temper.

somebody tried to taunt me today with some stupid remarks. i got pissed off right away and i said something really awful.

Something that i really regretted saying.

control. please.

HAHA

WHAT A BEAUTIFUL SEMESTER.

HAHA.

begin

the end of one journey is just the beginning of another.

don let the end of one journey stop you from going forward in life.

dont let one setback decide your destiny.

look for new opportunities and start a new journey.

CP

im facing a crunch point right now and i feel like i am losing the battle. this semester is shit terrible.

havent had any outstanding marks for any tests yet.


i have to persevere.

to turn the tides i will have to reevaluate my current back-to-the-slacker lifestyle.

i will give myself the rest of the week to adjust back.

i've done it before and succeeded.
i am going to make it happen again, because i enjoy it.

term break

how i wish i never had a mid term break.

when the uni gives you a mid term break, they expect you to study for tests after the "break".

why cant they just call it mid term study week?

this way students like me will not have the wrong thinking that it is a break and become complacent.

1 test, 5 weeks of notes, 12 hours left.

0 lectures covered.
0 tutorials covered.

may the force be with me.

....

lol crazy night.

that wasnt me.

damn it

went into a test unprepared today.

i guess the grief for this small failure will keep me motivated for the rest of this semester.

relieve

if today, you just acted childishly and hurt somebody, I urge you to say sorry to that person right away.

I've got the balls to do it and so do you.

and once again, the books proved to be correct again. i was an idiot for trying to go back to my childish self and demanded a win-lose situation.

tomorrow

i am so freaking childish.

i hope everything turns out fine tomorrow.

I will make it happen tomorrow.

stubborn

i dont care about what i've learned in books.


i still feel that you owe me an apology.

2 years

about 1 and a half year ago, i was reborn.

i was reborn into a better person. i saw a much disciplined self. i was happy with the change.

today, i have decided to "upgrade" my mindset again. i really hope i can make another breakthrough change that will make my life even happier and hopefully be able to make up for all the loss time in the past.

week 3

so far these 3 weeks has been easy on me.

but thats why i feel so slack and now i just cant stop sleeping. but all these slacking will end next week because all the assignments are coming.

and when the assignments come, the tests will follow.

its another 13 weeks of mind battle and discipline again.

my god

all the reputation i've been building for the past one year in sydney as a good boy has all gone down to the drain.

lost control of myself yesterday during the games night and all those jokes just kept pouring out.

good news: i am still good at my jokes
bad news: christians are offended by my jokes

whats new?

internet

internet was down for a week. bored to the max.

but when i finally had the internet back, i found that there was nothing to do online either.

throughout the history of mankind, saints and sages mentioned that feelings and emotions will cloud one's judgement.

i always thought that they were just foolish.

now i begin to wonder...

are they?

pointless

whats the use of having so much knowledge to help people...

when i cant help myself?

idiot

lost my cool. i always laugh at idiots who cannot control their temper.

but i didnt realize that i am an idiot myself.

learn, i must.

New Poem

A new poem to understand life better.

The name of this poem is: Once upon a time

Your mum, is a woman.

Your dad, is a man.

Your dog, is an animal.

All of them,
including you and me,
was a sperm.

my best

Despite improving myself for the past one year, i still feel that I have much more to improve. Last year, I aimed to transform myself to a new person by 2010, I would be able to live the kind of life I've always dream of.

Although I am happy that I've seen the results and improvements in this one year, I am still not there yet.

2009 is filled with accomplishements and satisfaction and I am proud of how much I've changed in this one year.

2010 will be even better. I will work twice as hard and thrice as smart compared to 2009.

I will reach there eventually and then I will set higher goals then.

I am not the crazy kid anymore. Maybe I am still crazy but I've grown. Grown to use my head finally.

in sydney

9hours of shit boring flight.

whats going to happen next in sydney?

Going to...

I will be heading for sydney in 3 hours time.

Shit sleep.